I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!

I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC!! The first time I said those words, in 1993, it was hurtful. They were said to my girlfriend at the time during an argument about my decision to go drinking with the boys while her father was in the hospital dying of alcohol related illness. I was an ass in words and action, but believed I was normal.

Over the next 25 years, I said it more and more to those I loved and those to who loved me. As time passed, I believed it less and less. I went from a binge drinker to a high-functioning alcoholic (a term I find hilariously ironic). I was still getting promoted and didn’t think I had lost anything. During the last 7 years of drinking, my “dry” stretches became shorter and shorter and my functioning diminished. My bottom hit quickly. Hero to zero in 60 seconds. There was no DUI, no charges of a crime, no major financial crises, no divorce.There was something worse - I lost my dignity, respect for myself and I let a lot of people down.

I left my half-million dollar home and spent 4 days in detox. Suits were replaced by track pants with the stings cut out. My expensive shoes lost their laces and I couldn’t shave without an escort. My “corporate” buddies were gone and I witnessed people trying to throw furniture through windows.

I AM AN ALCOHOLIC!! Those words continue to be the most liberating words that I have ever said in my life. I finally admitted that I was powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. I went to my first AA meeting while in detox, my wife and dad gave me my first Big Book, I went to more meetings, got a sponsor and enrolled in outpatient treatment. God had a plan for me, but it would get harder before it got better.

My sober date is July 4, 2019 - my personal independance day. My journey continues and I hope you follow along. Let’s Keep Moving, Stay Sober and enjoy Life Outside the Bottle©